Written by Josh Amberger.
It was a balmy day in late Spring 2025. I’d just arrived home from a long racing stint in Europe and adjusting to home life again in Brisbane. I don’t specifically remember my mood at the time, but I was probably feeling a little rutted, on a big comedown from the months long high of racing & travel in Europe. There was clutter everywhere, suitcases still waiting to be unpacked, an empty fridge, gardens overgrown and multiple bikes still in pieces. There were goals still on the horizon, but I needed a zinger to kick me into gear. A hand of god opened up as an email rolled in.
I’m a little guilty of a unkept inbox, especially when I’m deep in the haze and fatigue of back to back training sessions. But this one grabbed my attention. Three-way collab offer from my fuel & hydration sponsor Precision with the formidable hat maker Fractel. The proposal gave me free rein over the creative direction, with exception to some obligatory flair from PF&H stripes & colours. Collab accepted, an immediate done deal! I had two strong ideas. I was either going to chase my death metal dreams with gore, grimness and the ubiquitous scribble writing all over the hat, or pay homage to the creatures that have a strong hold over my antipodean consciousness with a beautiful and deadly assortment of Australian fauna.
Deep in thought, my outward gaze caught a kookaburra perched on a horizontal branch of one of the sprawling eucalyptus microcorys trees in our backyard, a crucial habitat tree in south-east Queensland for Koalas and of significant utility to an array of wildlife both big and small. Turkeys sleep in this tree of a night, currawongs and crows nest it in seasonally. I’ve looked out at this tree in this very place I am now enjoying my morning coffee, to have my eyes met by a curious koala chilling in this same nook. It’s a beautiful tree, the Tallowood. But I digress, back to the kookaburra.
It’s eyes are intently focussed downward. The largest member of the kingfisher family, the Kookaburra has a long beak that’s primed for hunting; gripping, ripping and smashing its prey on the nearest rock or branch. I was once standing at the clothes line directly outside going about my business when a ruckus broke out. A baby green tree snake that went unnoticed by me just meters away, was suddenly airborne and going mad in the beak of one of these cute and fluffy killers, it’s head swinging it against the ground before flying off with this thing in it’s mouth, and further smashing it unconscious back in the tree before an imminent disembowelment and feast. So naturally, my next thought for the hat was, what’s more brutal than death metal??? Bonza... Aussie critters! And that’s where we landed for this three-way hat design, my picks of the cute yet ruthless, squishy but lethal creatures of the Australian lands & seas. It was time to lock in with Dave Blow, creative lead at PF&H. And here’s what we came up with!
– A Rakali yearning for a PF 30 Caffeine Gel boost. The Rakali is a large native water rat, recently discovered to have developed an adaptive method of hunting and precisely dissecting the introduced cane toad pest without ingesting its fatally poisonous defensive sack. I’d always shuddered when seeing these in the wild, the size of them alone made me squirm. But I’ve since softened. Along with our mutual displeasure of cane toads, their thick cuddly fur, long whiskers and possum-like tail brought me on board team Rakali.
– Big Red Kangaroo replenishing its electrolyte levels with PF&H 1L bottle. The biggest of all kangaroo species in Australia, a full grown male big red is a shredded bush warrior, capable of surviving harsh drought and hot climates. It can manually increase its sweat rate in high temperatures to stay cool. In self defence, it will recoil on its muscular tail, slashing and kicking its adversary into submission. You don’t want to joust with this alpha male of the bush.
– Laughing Kookaburra looking dapper in PF&H bucket hat. It really suits these natural born assassins, I find it takes the edge of the predatory glow I’ve painted them in. This adorable creature will be waiting to laugh at you in any given moment, like when you’re being swooped by a magpie on your morning commute or stepping in dog shit on the way to the gym.
– Sea Mullet sitting for a customary PF&H sweat test. Not everything gracing my hat is deadly, these guys are more of a crafty acrobatic type. Docile but adorable looking, they are thick and soft, and maybe the least-athletic fish you would ever see. But they will jump high out of the way to avoid the jaws of a nearby shark or dolphin. Despite being an undercard and lower on the food chain than its aquatic rivals, the sea mullet an underrated Australian icon.
– Golden Orb spider with its kingly PF 30g Chew prize. It’s quietly chuffed since it now has enough carbs to see it through the next quarter, and it can kick back from the web building for a while. With its long and spindly legs and damn huge bubble but, the golden orb is always at the ready to ruin your day on your next trail run, minding your own business in flow state and then SURPRISE! You’ve now got it’s thick and robust web stretched all over your face and hands. And if that wasn’t enough, you’re now going absolutely bonkers working out if there’s a spider stuck in your hair or on your back!
– A Box Jellyfish obtaining critical carbs and elctrolytes from a PH Soft Flask. Whilst I’ve fortunately never encountered one of these creatures, these jellies have been a small but ongoing risk of racing Ironman Cairns each year in the tropics (hence the wetsuit optional rule even in the warm waters). Transparent and hard to see, its ribbon- like tentacles are filled with fatal venom and can reach up to 3m long. Cancel that, I’d rather see my own way out than go at long hands of of this aquatic phycho. It’s an invertebrate best avoided!
– Callistemon Eureka in full bloom and looking resplendent. The only angiosperm to make the cut on the hat after a few drafting rounds, it’s naturally high glucose content mean’t we couldn’t actually place it with any Precision products. If it ain’t broke, then don’t fix it! But make no mistake, life is tough for the Callistemon, being nature’s closest relative to the toilet brush and all. You spend years glowing up to hit your peak with these pretty flowers, then bang, a bird comes in to raid your sweet sugars and shits on you as a show of thanks.
– Lastly, we have the stately Carpet Python having a go at a tube of PH 1000 Electrolyte Tabs. Found active day or night, there’s no escaping this Aussie this often long and chunky backyard icon. Whether it’s swerving your bike while it’s crossing the road, or coming across it devouring you local possum on your driveway, Carpet Pythons are hard to avoid. It will even surprise you as you lift the lid, as I’ve experienced, on your trusty barbeque! Thick and muscular and completely non-venomous, they will still shown you who’s the boss of constriction if you go in for a cuddle!
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